beloved.

124 was disremembered. A house encompassing the spirit of a baby ghost falls short of being a home full of new memories and joyous experiences. Instead, time stands still as its inhabitants dwell upon the past. Sethe is stuck in the rememory of her baby Beloved in hopes of keeping her image alive, while Denver is trapped by 124's false promise of security and company. The outside intruder, Paul D, sees Beloved for what she is, for she is a figment of Sethe's and Denvers rememory and lack of acceptance of the past. It is as though 124 is a tear in the fabric of time; while life is forever changing outside the walls of 124, the inside remains unchanged. 

In regards to my big question, "to what degree does chronological age influence who we are?", Beloved unveils the struggles of coming to terms with the past in order to move past internal entrapment of a specific time. If Denver's age were not specified, readers would be inclined to believe she is a child in the ways she gets lonely in absence of Beloved and Sethe. Strangely enough, grasping on to the past holds Denver back from maturing into an active person of society. Only when Beloved behaves vampire-like does Denver finally leave 124 in search of community and social interaction. The most healthy decisions for Denver was to progress away from a past predisposition of how the outside world is perceived. Only then, did Denver behave her age and assume responsibilities of an adult in society.

In stark contrast, Beloved continues to behave like the unprotected baby she is to Sethe. Beloved only took, even when there was nothing to give. She eats all the food and leaves Sethe with nothing but crumbs at the bottom of the pie pan. Sethe even quit her job to tenderly care for Beloved. Like a baby in the body of a matured woman, Beloved does not know when to stop wanting more. Her rather naive and childish behavior greatly contrasts the body she is put in, for one she even becomes pregnant! Regardless, it is clear that a mindset that dwells on the past only leads to actions that reflect the same.

Although there is a tendency to want to relive the past whether it is tragic or uplifting, the past has a way of creeping into the way we act in the present. Only in the last chapter of Beloved, when 124 and the presence of Beloved became disremembered and unaccounted, did Sethe, Denver, and Paul D begin to move towards constructive mentality of the present. It took Paul D, the only masculine figure, to save Sethe from a fate no different from Baby Suggs. He is the beacon of reality in a home encompassing past memories and feelings. Yes, it is inevitable for the past to change who we are today, but it is only debilitating to live in the present in hopes of it being the past. 

invisible man.

Throughout The Invisible Man, the anonymous narrator experiences a cycle of progression and regression as a Black man struggling to be seen in a white society. Initially, this invisible character tells the readers that he is writing from a hole underground, and at the end of his story, he finds himself trapped in a manhole.Despite his age and experience in the world, the narrator still struggles to overcome invisibility. As a child, the narrator appears naive during his speech at the battle royal; he struggles with being able to firmly say "social equality" in the face of authority. Perhaps this is a clear moment of invisibility in comparison to his deliberate speeches to the brotherhood several years after.

As the narrator ages, he believes that he is outgrowing his invisibility. Ironically, his maturity in age does not help him escape the inevitability of his predisposition. Even while he is in the brotherhood, he becomes invisible to what he is fighting for; the brotherhood sends him away for he is assigned to women's issues. Emerson explores the idea of invisibility not only to oneself, but to others. One could argue that the narrator is now visible to oneself, but still struggles with making himself seen to others. The narrator, aware of his current state (as revealed in the prologue and epilogue) has gained a strong sense of self through experiences triumphs and defeat. Unfortunately, he is still unable to present himself to others in a way that makes him visible. He is even writing this entire story from beneath a hole! In this case, chronological age does not factor into changing how others perceive him. He has personally grown through experience, but the world remains indifferent.

independent study (death of a salesman)

In relation to my big question, Death of a Salesman strongly highlights the effects of chronological age on one's perspective towards their livelihood.  The Loman family is a keen example of one's distorted idea of age in relation to their actions and reality.

Because Willy Loman spends the majority of his life promoting salesmanship and the American Dream, he is oblivious to the increase in financial pressures and his failed occupation. With disregard of his degenerated age, Willy still believes he is a youthful salesman that customers still love. He acts as though he has much more time to become successful thus reciprocating such desires in his daydreams. Within his daydreams, Will revealed a happier time when his sons still loved him. He allows the lines between reality and the past to blur because he is nostalgic of the past. In contrast to acting his chronological age and perhaps saving for retirement or planning for the future, Willy is trapped in his youthful mentality because he believes it promises greater chances for success.

Furthermore, the illusion of the relationship between age and success is created by Willy's older brother, Ben. In contrast to Willy's financial situation, Ben gained riches at a young age. Because of how highly Willy regarded Ben, he places pressures on his sons to achieve wealth thus attempting to live vicariously through the entrepreneurship of Biff and Happy. Despite Willy's actual age, he continues to believe and strive to act as though he still has time to change his financial situation. Although this acts simply as an escape from reality, his perception is rooted in his inability to admit failure at his old age because he always thought he would have more time.

In Death of a Salesman, the idea that age is inevitable regardless of ones mental state is illuminated though Willy Loman's failed ambitions. His failure allows him to be a tragic hero because his poor choices force him to deny the facts reality and his looming death.

henry iv, part i

The Shakespearean play Henry IV, Part I, illuminates the coming of age tale of the heir to the throne. Age plays an interesting role as a catalyst for the vital relationships within this story. Although Falstaff and King Henry are of the same age, their relationships towards Hal appear very different. King Henry is technically Hal's father, yet Falstaff, a man of equivalent age behaves rather immaturely and childlike in the presence of Hal.

In this situation, King Henry utilizes his chronological age to reveal his feeling of authoritative entitlement and control over his son. Henry creates a facade for the public where he is waging war in order to elucidate the throne for his son. His actions force him to believe that he is invincible when ironically, Hal is left to save the King's life in battle. The appearance of the monarchy in the King's mind is strictly held by age, where the King reigns power over his heir, when in actuality Prince Hal had an opposing ideal of rebellion against his father. Perhaps Prince Hal played a political ploy by carousing himself with common criminals, while in the face of the throne he transforms into the leader the people desire thus eliminating all other preconceptions.

In contrast, Falstaff is rather ignorant of his age in relation to other characters. Falstaff is chronologically old enough to be Hal's father, but he chooses  to behave as though he and Hal are equals. Simply based off his horatian satire and comfort with the heir to the thrown, one might conclude that they are of similar age. In battle, Falstaff reveals that he is the antithesis of honor when he plays dead and stabs unnecessarily stabs the death Hotspur. But, through it all, Falstaff is strangely fatherly in his tough loving ways of caring for Hal. Although their bond is built off criminal lies, Falstaff finds a way to mentor and aid Hal in his way to the throne. Maybe this is Falstaff's reveal of his chronological age.

Throughout this play, the characters predetermined age lends perspective into their past, present, and future. Chronological age changes how characters approach not only one another, but the situations that surround them.

wuthering heights.

In Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte illuminates the idea that nurturing does play a key role in the way one acts based of chronological age. Throughout the novel, a cycle of lust and revenge is revealed through multiple generations of only two families until Young Catherine breaks the cycle of repetition. In relation to my big question, I am very interested in the inhibitions of Linton and Young Catherine. Their youthful innocence is expected to reveal a lackluster understanding of love and immaturity towards marital decisions. In contrast, these characters are influenced by precedent behaviors to behave unlike their chronological age. 

Linton upbringing forces him into playing a pawn in Heathcliff's scheming revenge. He refers to Linton as his "property" and enforces the idea that Isabella is a "wicked slut". Regardless of Isabella’s attempt to salvage Linton from the misery of Wuthering Heights and Trushcross Grange, she is unsuccessful. Not only presently, but also in the long run does Linton’s negative upbringing weaken his sense of self and skew his inhibitions. Linton, regardless of his age is destined to a life of misery because he was shaped poorly at a young age to believe love is a tool of manipulation.

On the other hand, Young Catherine reveals promising characteristics of happiness. Young Catherine encompasses a sense of compassion that Catherine Earnshaw Linton could not posses. In contrast to Heathcliff, Edgar is a devoted father to Young Catherine. In Edgar’s eyes, “the little one was always Cathy: it formed to him a distinction from the mother, and yet a connection with her; and his attachment sprang from its relation to her, far more than from its being his own.” Edgar unknowingly influences her kindness towards the ill Linton. She reveals her desire to love him because she believes she can protect and mother him back to health. Although it is much more grotesque than the love of old Catherine and Edgar, it is founded upon pure intentions.    

The unique upbringing and innate characteristics of Linton and Young Catherine are far from similar, but they both reveal the impact outside influences have on ones character. Nurturing at a young age helps predetermine one’s characteristics for the future.

oedipus.

In the short play Oedipus Rex, Oedipus struggles with defining his identity because he does not comprehend his past. Such an identity crisis is parallel to the way society would act if they had no recollection of their age. Before Oedipus understood his identity, he was not only confident, but content with who he believed himself to be. As he addressed his city he proudly proclaims, "here I am myself-- you all know me, the world knows my fame: I am Oedipus" (7-9). His proud definition of his own self reveals that he does not need to know the truth to portray his identity, regardless of how wrong he is. This is similar to how the absences of labeling age as a number would allow people to blissfully act as they wish. 

In this case, ignorance form the truth allows for people to flourish as supposed to restricting oneself to the negative connotations that come with the truth, whether it be Oedipus's painful fate or an age old number. Oedipus is warned by the Shepard that "if you are the man he says you are, believe me you were born for pain" (13004-5). An undesirable fate could have been avoided if Oedipus did not seek the truth, similar to how a lack of association with age creates an open mind. It is not that the ignorance of age will physically change one's appearance... for a person’s body will continue to age regardless of what the mind believes the body to be. Oedipus, even when he was unaware of the meaning behind his past, still suffers from swollen feet and scars. Regardless of his physical attributes, he remains mentally sane until he comes to the realization of his past.

What we choose to believe is a detrimental factor towards shaping who we are. It's wrong to think that the social connotations that come with age are left to define who we are and change our mentality towards our behavior. Oedipus is a keen example of how the human mind is capable of seeing only what it wants to see; he saw what he thought was the truth and believed it until he was told otherwise, thus destroying every mental ideal he once held. Without the label of age, people will be more inclined to act as they please and not grow mentally old into a standard that others hold with age.  

the almighty question.

Stay in the lines... stay in the lines... 

I thought to myself as I attempted to put on my mother's lipstick like I was filling in a cartoon character in one of my childhood coloring books.

 I pushed myself upwards on my tiptoes as my feet swam in my mother's five-inch stilettos to get a better look at my adult like facade in the mirror....

Isn't it ironic how we spend out whole lives waiting to grow up, until we come to an age where we can do nothing but look back and reminisce upon the innocent youth we desire to have back? Throughout school we are told to act our age but what does that really mean? I had no idea there was a level of maturity that came with a grade level. From a young age, maturity appeared to be the end all goal; those who appeared to be more mature, were superior... not to mention the brownie points you would earn from the teacher. I for one was always "that kid". The one that did exactly as they were told, never spoke out of line, and was ready to grow up. Well, all I have to say is... what the hell was I thinking? 

Senior year is a pivotal point of change and entrance into the adult world. It is the last year to be a child, yet we are conflicted with endless expectations to mature and prepare ourselves for reality. As a child, we were never wrong... no idea was a bad idea, and our imagination flourished without restrictions. But, as we aged, there was only one correct answer... no you can't think out of the box and no you may not be creative. Now that the adult world is so within reach, it does not appear as wondrous as it did when I was young but a cold reality. Strangely enough, I have never felt more immature and foolish than I have in this year of school. I am truly embracing every ounce of my impish nature. Maybe I am doing so because I fear the adult world I will be living in come next August. Or maybe I am currently held to society's ideal standard of what a 17-year-old girl should act like. There is no such thing as "acting your age". These thoughts got me wondering... 

To what degree does our chronological age influence who we are?

Age is just a figment of our own ideals and standards... we are the ones that choose to lose our youthful innocence and our childlike incentives. Throughout this year, I will explore the characteristics of age and the social aspects of maturity in hopes of answering my big question.